Monday, December 31, 2007

"We don't know!"

I just wish once I could type 2 posts giving you all great news about Kate...however...that just isn't the case.

I was called this morning to inform me that some of the pleural effusion (fluid) was back in her chest and they were going to put in a chest tube. After waiting for that and yet another new post-op roommate to get settled...Andy and I finally saw her around 2:00...sound asleep in her bed.

We talked with the cardiology fellow...and what followed was not encouraging. I asked where all the fluid was coming from (they had over 120 cc in her drain alone + more that came out when the drain was placed) and he told us her worsening heart failure. She is just not able to pump the fluid through her lungs, it backs up and then diffuses into her chest cavity. I can't imagine a total of almost 8oz of fluid backed up in her tiny little chest.

He made mention today that she is in worse shape then before surgery...as she is now on 2 IV heart meds + a chest drain. And for the first time...the topic of "quality of life" was in the discussion. The next week will be make it or break it for Kate and it looks as if we will have some tough tough decisions to make soon. Each time...her heart failure gets worse: the 1st time an extra dose of oral lasix did it...then she needed IV lasix...then a chest tap...now a chest drain. The doc said a lot will be dependent if she can stay off of the vent and then if not, we will face a fork in the road that could or could not include another surgical intervention (which they say she is not the perfect candidate for). She continues to spike these fevers...which now they are attributing to her heart failure and the amount of work she has to do. I left her last night in the best I've seen her in weeks...only to find out that around 5 am she began to fail immensely.

Andy and I don't know what to think or say. We have Seth with us which is tremendous medicine and forces us to "keep it together" However...we just don't know how much Kate can/should/will endure. They continue to hold her feeds as she has had to have so many "procedures" in the past few days...she is so frail....and continuing to lose weight. I don't think she has had 24 hours of solid nutrition in weeks.

We're not sure what to do right now...I guess there is another impending winter storm...and we still have lots of questions we want answers to...and we want to hear them together. They assured us that they will let us know when we need to seriously discuss options...but my instinct says that talk isn't far away. I pray I'm mistaken and that we will have a New Year Miracle...but am I just postponing the inevitable.

All we can ask for: prayer...lots and lots of prayer! Prayer for answers...and for peace! As the post title suggest: we just don't know what to do or say or imagine...we just don't know!

44 comments:

Anonymous said...

We are so sorry and praying much for all of you. We love you guys much. Hang in there. God has a purpose even tho we don't understand. Someday we will.
Sheri for us four

Anonymous said...

Dearest Krista,
Even those of us who don't know you hold you and your family in our hearts. Please know we are always thinking of you.

Amy G.

Anonymous said...

We don't know what to say either, but we do know that our prayers will intensify for answers, strength, and comforting peace for you and your family. Please know that we are here if needed. Our thoughts are with all of you at this difficult time.
Ron and Sherry

Anonymous said...

Krista & Andy,

We've been in Cincinnati the past few days and haven't been able to check the blog. I've been so anxious to see how Kate has been doing. I am so very sorry to read your last post today. I cannot begin to imagine what you are going through. This has to be the hardest thing any parent could endure, and I pray that there is a happy ending in store for you. Everything happens according to God's Will, and I pray that He has a miraculous turn-around planned for Kate in '08. I wish I could make everything better for you. I will continue to do the only thing I can, which is to pray.

May God have great Blessings in store - a New Year Miracle, we pray!

Love you,

Gina

Anonymous said...

Oh how helpless, empty and frightened I feel and know your emotions must be similar. You have been aggressive in getting Kate to the best docs and continue to educate yourselves on options. I will continue to pray for Kate's improving health and peace for all of you. We don't know what tomorrow will bring...that perverbial glass continues to be half full! Sending hugs and prayers!
Donna

Anonymous said...

Krista and Andy - What a roller coaster Kate has been riding and taking you with her. My heart goes out to you guys. Keeping Kate in my prayers every day. Has a heart transplant been a consideration? I just began reading the blog the first of December and have not gone back to previous dates to see what was happening at an earlier time. Have just had feedback from Judy at Summit City Singers practice. Keep the faith. Nancy H. (SCS)

Anonymous said...

Andy and Krista
We pray for the much needed answers that you need.
Andy, we were with your mother when she received your call. We feel so helpless as what to say except we will continue to pray for the right answers to come to you.
Remembering all of you in our prayers.
Ray and Karen

Anonymous said...

Oh Dear Krista and Andy. It seems I just finished looking at "Oh what a night" and little Kate looked so much better. Now this. My heart goes out to you and your precious little girl. If your love could cure her she certainly would be in great shape now. My prayers are with all of you as you face this latest and evidently most serious crisis. May God grant you peace.
Linda D.

Melissa said...

My heart breaks for you all. I can't imagine the difficult decisions you face each day with Kate. Please know you are in all of our prayers! Wish I could give you a big hug right now. You know where I am tonight if you need to chat.

Anonymous said...

Krista and Andy,

Wow, I wish I knew what to say. As a parent and fellow heart patient, my heart breaks for you and for all that little Kate has been through. I continue to pray daily for her and you all continue to be on my mind and in my heart. Hold firm in your faith in God. He knows his plan for Kate, even though we don't and do not understand why all this his happening to her.

Many Blessings and prayers for a miracle in 2008!!

Kim Tinker

LeeAnne said...

Andy and Krista,

We keep updated on your blogs. As someone mentioned, this has been quite a roller coaster ride. We cannot imaging how hard this is for you, especially now. We too hope and pray that you will receive a New Year Miracle.

The "quality of life" conversation you mentioned is a very tough one. My family had to make that decision with my dad and his cancer. I cannot imagine having that conversation about a child.

We will keep you in our thoughts and prayers. We'll pray for Kate as well as peace and strength for you.

Call us any time. We love you.

Gene, LeeAnne & Lynzi

Anonymous said...

We will be on our knees in prayer tonight. We're sorry about this latest turn of events. Much love and care are coming your way! God bless you both as you make your decisions in the coming days. Many are lifting you up and God is certainly holding you in His arms.

Nancy

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry to hear this latest news about Kate. I pray that God will wrap His loving arms around all of you giving you the peace and comfort that only He can give. May He bless you with rest, so that you can make whatever decisions must be made. You all remain in my prayers. Linda

Kathy said...

Krista...
I can't believe what I'm reading. We never had that much fluid...but, can they put her on steroids along with the tube?? (the steroids is what cleared Isaac's up..but, I can't remember how much was around the heart). And I totally know what it does to the kids when they hold off the food. Isaac lost 3 pounds in one week when they did that to him. You're thinking..."USE THE TUBE...that's why we got it!"..but, they don't. I had to beg everyday to start up feeds. (I almost just wanted to sneak him food).
I'm so sorry you were given this horrible news. I pray that Miss Kate's body will work with her and that her doctors will be empathetic and work together to get her healthy and home.
Please call or email if you just need to talk.
Kathy

Anonymous said...

Krista and Andy,
We are at a loss for words at this time. Our thoughts are always with you and we pray that God will bless your family and keep you close as you make decisions for Kate's care. Give her and Seth some loving from us.
Love and hugs,
Art and Reen

Anonymous said...

Krista and Andy,
Our thoughts and prayers remain with you and Kate tonight and in the coming days as you face each decision. Hang in there and know that God has a plan - even though it may not be the same as your plan. Have the happiest New Year that you can.

Jana Piotter

Grabb Family said...

Oh Krista,
My heart broke for you as I read your post. Praying for that miracle and that Kate's heart function will get stronger.

We understand those hard decisions and the pain and agony of watching your child suffer. We pray that God will make any and all decisions abundantly clear for you so you may have no doubt of his will for you in this trial.

Our prayers are with you,
Terri and Family

Anonymous said...

Andy & Krista,
Just know that you are loved and hundreds of people from the young to the old are praying for you daily. Those prayers will give you the strength you need.
Our Princess Katherine, through your blog, has touched more lives than most people will if they live to be 100 years old, what a blessing! Oh, how she is loved by so many that have never even meant her. And you both have shown strength that can only come from our God through Jesus Christ.
Whatever decisions are made, I will support you 100%
Love, Mom Layman

"But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved." Hebrews 10:39

Jim & Karen said...

Krista and Andy,
Already it is a new year, and your precious daughter has outlived the most dire predictions made about her.
But our ultimate hope is not in medical professionals. They are but tools in the Master Surgeon's hands. For that reason, we continue to pray for a miracle for Kate and recognize just how good the Lord we serve has already been to all of us. He will be praised now and in the face of whatever lies ahead of you.
You and your family are always in our prayers to the Lord.

Samantha said...

Krista...my heart is aching for you guys right now. I can only imagine how terrified you all are. You are all in my prayers. I pray for a healthy new year for you all. Hang in there my friend, you are so strong.

Love,
Samantha

Anonymous said...

Dear Krista & Andy,

I just want to pray for you (since that is all I can do).

Dear Lord, I lift up Krista, Andy and Seth to you. You know what this family is going through - you have allowed all of this to happen. For what reason we do not know, but it is for Your good. We know that you do not give us more than we can withstand. You have shown me that this family is STRONG. You have allowed them to touch lives with Kate's little life that they otherwise wouldn't have been able to touch. Please use this battle for this sweet little life to bring others to you. In the meantime, we pray that Kate is comfortable and we ask that you heal her heart. I pray for Krista and Andy, Lord. I can not imagine the sadness and overwhelming feelings that they have felt. I pray for peace and strength for two very special people. Lord, surround this family with your love and guidance. We love you so much. Amen.

I am praying for you all.
Much love,
Amy Givens

Judy Davis said...

Dear Krista, Andy, Seth & Kate, As I follow your blog everyday, I have not heard such discouraging news
from you for a long time. Sometimes, reality hurts so very badly! Praying that God will give you the strength to carry on and we are praying for Kate's health.
Hugs, hugs, Judy Davis

Anonymous said...

Andy & Krista:
We are praying daily for you. Kate's future is in God's hands and we know he will lead you to the right path. He may not tell you in a loud voice but rather a quiet understanding. We have faith you will hear, though. You have shown so much faith and strength in the last year.

Hang in there and may 2008 be a peacful year for you.

Kelly & Jamie Smeltzer

Anonymous said...

The only words that come to mind is "Thy will be done." And we will pray that God's direction in all your decisions will come very clearly to you. Bless your hearts ~ as humans we feel deeply that is all just too much that you have to bear. But we rejoice that our great God is with you all the way. God Bless you all!! Our prayers are with you today. Ray & Mary H.

Anonymous said...

Dear Krista and Andy,

Sending Wishes for You that this New Year brings Peace, Contentment and Hope.

Also Sending Prayers that you be Blessed with the Courage to Overcome whatever Obstacles You Confront.

--Love and Hugs, Susan (from this little corner of Southeastern Pennsylvania}

Anonymous said...

Krista and Andy,

Anonymous said...

Krista and Andy,
We know you are completely wrapped in God's
loving arms and that Seth and Kate are right there with
you.All I can say is that our prayers are with all of
you and those taking care of Kate.We know that
waiting is so awful.May God smile on you today!!
Love and prayers,
Marilyn and Mike from Portland

Anonymous said...

Andy & Krista--

All I can say is that I am earnestly praying for your family. . .that the God of the Universe will simply hold you in His loving arms as you face each moment together.

God bless you!

Phil Menzie

Anonymous said...

Joy and tears seem to alternate within each moment. Your acceptance of God's will is such an inspiration. How strong you all are but it must be so hard to keep going. Our family is praying constantly for you. We loved seeing the photos of Seth at the recycling center. Hugs to you all. Love, Jane Wells

Anonymous said...

Andy & Krista,
You have done a wonderful, wonderful job with Kate and Seth. It does not seem that you have left any stone unturned in regards to Kate. As we all know, she is a little girl with a lot of fight in her. We pray for God's comfort to surround you in the days to come, whether it be for Kate's healing or for a sweet little girl who will get her angel wings.
Much prayer & love,
Tricia Haworth

Anonymous said...

Andy and Krista,

I am reading this latest post and can not imagine the strength you two have shown but also the strength you will continue to need. I pray for you to have clarity and resolve to meet the challenges that will come.
My prayers are for all of you especially Kate.

JerryK

The Findleys said...

Everyone has already said all the things I can think of - and it really comes down to what you said - "I just don't know". I don't know how you feel although I am heart sick. I don't know what to say except that we want to lift you up in any way we can - even if that means crying along side you. And I just don't know what the next days, weeks bring - except that there is one constant and it is God's everlasting, abounding love for His children.

Praying, hurting and hoping along with you...

Deanna said...

I love you. Know that I am praying for a miracle in '08.... specifically, this week! My heart is aching for you today.... but I WILL continue to pray with HOPE!

(((( HUGS ))))

Anonymous said...

Krista, Andy, and Seth
This latest news is heartbreaking, and may God hold you and give you strength. Some things are so hard to understand, and we want Kate to heal and feel His presence. Love to you all, and many prayers.
Jim and Sharon

Anonymous said...

Krista and Andy,
Thinking and praying for you all.
jessica from st. v's

Anonymous said...

All I can do for you is pray. I do know God is in charge and He will do His will. God bless you, and know that you and your family are loved.
Hugs & Prayers
Sue M

Anonymous said...

Krista and Andy,

As everyone says, you have been such an inspiration to all of us who follow your blog. But I have to mention, after reading all these comments, that all your friends and all the unknown people who make comments on this blog are an inspiration as well. My throat is tight and my eyes are watering as I read all the wonderful messages of caring and support. So I want to say thank you to EVERYONE who has made a comment. You all have something to offer and it means alot to those of us blog-followers as well as to Andy and Krista.

Shirlie

Anonymous said...

Krista and Andy,
As always, you and your precious family are in our hearts, our thoughts and our prayers. We are here for you and whatever you need. In addition to prayers for Kate's heart, as a mother, I offer up a prayer for your mother's heart. (I can only imagine how heavy your heart is at times.) Please know that Jesus has already born all of this pain on the cross and now he gives you his Holy Spirit living in your heart to daily sustain you. As always we pray, Lord, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. God bless you. Much love.

Carrie G.

Anonymous said...

Dear Krista, As a friend of Gayle's I have been forwarded all of The Layman Scoop's. I am so sad to get the latest post. My thoughts and prayers have been with you from the very beginning. Your faith and truthfulness is an inspiration to all of us. I pray tomorrow will be a better day for your family and that beautiful little girls. Ti

The Portas said...

Oh, you guys....I'm so sorry for all of this. Prayer is definitely the answer and we will help to hold you up in it! You are always in our prayers and we will pray extra hard for Kate right now.

Hang in there.

Anonymous said...

ARGH! I was so disappointed to read your blog. Part of me wants to scream - "It's not fair!" But I keep telling myself that God is in control. Have you ever seen the Veggie Tales Easter video? There's a song in there about Jesus dying for us and in it the angel (named Hope) sings, "He died for us to give us life, and to give us HOPE he rose!" There's ALWAYS hope! Don't forget it! Love, Sharyn

Anonymous said...

Things to know for sure:

You guys are such a wonderful family. That will never change through all of this.

Motherhood is an impossible love.

Lots of Love and Prayers

Anonymous said...

Dear Krista & Andy,
We just want you to know that all of the pastoral and secretarial staff at Grace Point read your blog regularly. It helps us know how to pray for you all. We love and support you and you are in our prayers during our services, at
our staff meetings and any time
God brings you to our minds. You've touched our lives is a very real way with your strength and faith in Christ. Just remember that His grace is sufficient for anything we have to go through.
We know that Jesus loves the little children and that Kate is being loved on by Him also.

God bless and we'll keep praying,

The pastors and secretaries from Grace Point.

Vanessa said...

Krista,

I am in a state of shock right now. I will be praying hard for Kate and know that God is on your side. I am standing in agreement with you on Kates healing.

God Bless,