Thursday, January 24, 2008

"That Song"

Andy loves Youtube...ever since we got DSL...he loves listening to all kinds of songs and watching videos. Usually they are from the 80's or some one hit wonder song! However, a few weeks ago...when he was up in Ann Arbor...I could hear him listening to a particular song. I never really listened to the lyrics...cause after the 1st few lines...I didn't want to hear it. In fact...one night, just a few nights before Kate's passing...I even asked him to turn it off.

Well...today, on the way to pick up Seth from preschool..."that song" was on the radio and I found myself listening to it and being extremely touched. "That song" is Held by Natalie Grant.

I have had an amazing feeling this past week. That feeling that I am being "held" by my Savior and God. That feeling is not easily expressed or written in a "blog"...it is just there. Sometimes I get it from a simple rose or an act of kindness from a funeral home.... other times it's just there. I just know that God is still with me. I just know that He hasn't left me...and He is still working out all things for good. Yeah...this is extremely unfair...Andy and I didn't deserve this...but we are being held...and that brings us so much comfort in the midst of our storm.

Not only are we held by our Savior in those "unexplainable ways"...we are also being "held" by his servants here on Earth. Andy and I have felt nothing but love from so many: family and friends, strangers and co-workers. What is it that makes us feel so "held?"
---the stacks of cards we receive in the mail everyday
---the flowers that adorn our house
---the fridge and freezer packed full of food
---the random phone calls...just to say "hi!" and "how are you?"
---the generous donations in Kate's memory
---the encouraging comments on the blog
---the many who came to give us hugs and celebrate Kate's life at her viewing/funeral
---the gifts that come in the mail from complete strangers who have been touched by Kate's life.
---the network of heart families who are spreading Kate's story through "blogworld"

Many times people would say to us: "I don't know how you do it?" Our thoughts went immediately to the families going through "this" who don't know the Lord and don't have His cloud of witnesses here on Earth watching over them. Those are the ones for whom my heart aches. It continues to be our prayer that through Kate's short life and story...maybe perhaps somebody "out there" may come to know or even just "reknow" the Lord. But for us...we have the hope of tomorrow...and that is how we get through it...and for that we are forever grateful. Thank you to each and everyone of you who has "held" us this past week...and will continue to hold us...We are blessed.


"Held" by Natalie Grant
(clicking on the link will allow you to listen to the song)
Two months is too little.
They let him go.
They had no sudden healing.
To think that providence would
Take a child from his mother while she prays
Is appalling.
Who told us we’d be rescued?
What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares?
We’re asking why this happens
To us who have died to live?
It’s unfair.
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we’d be held.
This hand is bitterness.
We want to taste it, let the hatred numb our sorrow.
The wise hand opens slowly to lilies of the valley and tomorrow.
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we’d be held.
If hope is born of suffering.
If this is only the beginning.
Can we not wait for one hour watching for our Savior?
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we’d be held.
We'd be held....This is what it is to be loved.
And to know, that the promise was when everything fell, we'd be held.
This is what it means to be held

17 comments:

Melissa said...

What a beautiful song, I'm glad you are finding comfort in being held! Thinking of you all each and every day and hoping that each day is just a little bit easier! God bless you.

Anonymous said...

KK,

Sometimes I'll be in some type of mood (good, bad or indifferent) and a song will come on the radio that captures my thoughts perfectly and helps me to cope with my emotions and what I'm feeling.

Glad to know I'm not the only one to whom this happens on occasion!!

Thinking of you,
MIra :)

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing that song and your feelings of being held. Again, I say, I don't know how people get through this life without the hope of tomorrow.

Nancy

The McConkey's said...

To use your words “That feeling is not easily expressed or written in a "blog"...it is just there.” That is how I feel about your family. Although we know very little of each other I have always been drawn to your presence. Even before Kate was born. Your slideshow reminded me that our friendship began with Seth, and that feeling that is “just there” around him drawling loved ones near. You are a very blessed family, and I am so grateful to know you.

Vanessa said...

What a beautiful and touching song. I hope pray you are being 'held' through all of this.

I'm always thinking of you guys.

Sending hugs your way!

Anonymous said...

We are Held!
C.L.

Anonymous said...

I too have had the feeling of being held in his arms - IT IS REAL. The first time was when my father became ill. God held me and said it would be alright. When my father passed, God was holding me then. So blessed to have that feeling. When my son passed he held me then too. Like you I know and feel Him with me. People will tell you that you are strong - it's not us it's God. I tell them that it is my Lord not me. You know that through God all things are possible.
Know I will continue to hold all of you in my prayers.
Hugs & Prayers
Sue M

Anonymous said...

Hi Krista, Andy and Seth,
Just a note to say that I'm thinking of you today and everyday, really. It's so good to read your blog and know you have comfort. I especially liked your photos of Seth out in the snow! How great that he can bring happiness to your days during this time. I know our nearly 3 year old does the same for me. I saw some stars last night and thought of Kate - although no expert to see where hers is - I knew it was up there and she was watching over all of us. What a great gift.
I hope your weekend is warm and cozy with the family.
Megan

Anonymous said...

Krista,
After my sister died I found this poem and it gave me comfort to read it. I thought some of the verses might comfort you and Andy.
Anita Bates
I’m Free

Don’t grieve for me,
for now I’m free.
I’m following the path
God laid for me.
I took God’s hand
when I heard the call;
I turned my back
and left it all.

I could not stay
another day
To laugh, to love,
to work or play.
Tasks left undone
must stay that way,
I found that place
at the close of day.

If my parting
has left a void,
Then fill it with
remembered joy.
A friendship shared,
a laugh a kiss.
Ah yes, these things,
I too, will miss.

Be not burdened
with times of sorrow,
I wish you the sunshine
of tomorrow.
My life’s been full,
I savored much,
Good friends, good times,
a loved one’s touch.

Perhaps my time
seemed all to brief;
don’t lengthen it now
with undue grief.
Lift up your heart
and share with me-
God wanted me now,
God set me free.

Anonymous said...

I have been touched by the song HELD, too. I first heard it sung by Natalie when she was the guest artist at the 2006 Women of Faith conference here in town. At that time, I was grieving with a friend who had just lost a family member in an auto accident.
I am totally confident of God's faithfulness. He will never leave us or forsake us, and underneath are His everlasting arms to hold us. It is a blessing to see the reality of His faithfulness evidenced in your lives. Thank you for sharing your spiritual journey with us.
With continuing love and prayers,
Carol M.

Anonymous said...

I have been touched by the song HELD, too. I first heard it sung by Natalie when she was the guest artist at the 2006 Women of Faith conference here in town. At that time, I was grieving with a friend who had just lost a family member in an auto accident.
I am totally confident of God's faithfulness. He will never leave us or forsake us, and underneath are His everlasting arms to hold us. It is a blessing to see the reality of His faithfulness evidenced in your lives. Thank you for sharing your spiritual journey with us.
With continuing love and prayers,
Carol M.

Anonymous said...

Dear Krista,

Thank you for keeping all of us in your life. I think of you often. I am so sorry for your sadness. We all hold you and your family close to our hearts and hope for comfort in your life each day.

Love,

Amy G.

Anonymous said...

Hi, Krista. Thank you so much for sharing the lyrics to this beautiful song with us, your blog readers, and thanks to Andy, also, for finding the song in the first place.

All of the Laymans and Kings are held very close in my heart, and, I am sure, held closely by legions of readers, too.

Kate didn't spend enough time here on earth with us, but her legacy seems to know no limits. You can't imagine how deeply you have touched the hearts of your readers with your open and honest journaling. I know that now I am more prone to follow links and try to support other families with hearts kids or pediatric cancer.

All Because of Kate… and Because YOU Inspired Me.

Continuing to send Positive Vibes, Prayers, Hugs, and Love, Susan
(Mira's Mom in Southeastern PA)

The Saunders Family said...

that song is so beautiful... actually a girl that went to my college (Anderson) wrote the lyrics, but Natalie Grant does an awesome job making you feel "Held". My best friend miscarried her baby at 5 mo. over two years ago and this was the song that she clung to in her time of grieving. It is amazing that indeed we are held, often when we are too weak to stand on our own! Isn't God great! You remain in our prayers
jessica for all

The Portas said...

We continue to hold you up in prayer! You have been through so much and you will always be on our hearts.

Thanks for sharing the wonderful song. Praying for you, as ALWAYS!

xoxoxoxoxoxoooxoxox

Janice/Matt said...

Krista,

A prayer you shared with me a few years ago. It came out of the book "My Life is in Your Hands" by Kathy Trocolli. I have it hanging on my computer at work.

Dear Lord,
It was a weeping day yesterday...on and off. Tears fell uncontrollably at times. Little girl that I truly am. Couldn't be held enough, couldn't be told I was loved enough. Couldn't quite believe enough. And yet, as I looked to you, Lord, I knew that you were HOLDING me, loving me, believing for me.
Amen

Love Janice

Kelly said...

What a beautiful song. Isn't amazing how the littlest things bring her back? I find myself really paying attention to the words in songs and poems now. Your positive outlook is amazing. Take care.