Monday, February 16, 2009

Banned from Kroger

So...some my call it Pregnancy Brain...some (Andy) may just call it sure stupidity...I don't know what it is for sure...but before long I think I will be banned from Kroger and the general parking lot surrounding it!


#1 I stop in to buy a few things, use my Kroger card (on my keys) and then proceed to the parking lot. NO KEYS! Go back in to look for them at checkout counter...they aren't there! Stand them dumbfounded...I had JUST used them and proceed to empty the entire contents of my purse into my shopping cart. I am seconds away from calling Andy to come rescue me when a man walks up to the service counter...carrying a set of keys! I yell at him..."are those keys"? He hands them to me and tells me he found them laying right in the middle of the parking lot!

#2 I'm next to Kroger...running into Pakmail to mail a package...grabbing all sorts of things out of my car (baskets, address, phone, purse...everything...but the keys!) Since my hands are full and I can't feel my keys in my hands...I lock the door manually. As soon as I shut the door...my minds cliques in...my keys better not still be in the car. Yep...hanging right there in the ignition.
Fortunately I have my phone...can call Seth's preschool to let them know I will be late...call all sorts of locksmiths to find the quickest one...only to hand over $50 30 minutes later to some shady guy in the parking lot who was able to unlock my door in seconds!

#3 I'm unloading my groceries from one of those huge racecar carts (Seth loves them) and into a smaller cart to take to the parking lot...I drop a 1/2 gallon of milk...it goes EVERYWHERE...and I stand there helpless looking for an employee to mop of my mess.

#4 I'm back at Kroger (I haven't planned my menus well lately) and drop a 12 pack of Rootbeer...to have them all go rolling around the store. I try my best to pick them up and put them in a bag...lose one to bowels of Kroger and come home with an 11 pack.

This is after I nearly burn down the house! I was cooking baked spaghetti...it had been in the oven for an hour. I crank up the heat to 450 to cook some garlic bread. The oven really starts smoking...I think..."Oh something must have spilled" I ignore it. It continues to get REALLY smokey...both Seth and Andy are making comments. After a few more minutes, I pull out the baking stone to find a hot pad seconds away from combustion stuck to the bottom!

Oh yeah..should I add that the movie box at Kroger also gave me the wrong movie on Valentines Day...nothing like "Max Payne" for a romantic night at home...and then when I went to Blockbuster to pick out a decent movie...the one I pick skips and periodically stops the entire way through....the 90 minute movie turned into a 2 1/2 hour EVENT! My luck....oh where have you gone?

It's crazy...I'm seriously not going back to Kroger...or anywhere else for that matter...cause all this stuff has happened in like a week! Do I really have like 5 more months of this? If so...watch out world...and who is willing to follow me around with a set of keys, mop and fire extinguisher!

14 comments:

mina said...

It can only get better, hoping you have a terrific 5 months. I think you've had enough excitement to last until the end of your pregnancy!

Anne said...

I'm laughing with you, not at you...I promise!! Hang in there!

Anonymous said...

I know how Desi Arnez felt in all of those I love Lucy episodes.
Love ya dear!
Andy

Amber said...

That is too funny!!! I so needed that chuckle this morning. :0)
Also...we bought the same root beer deal (sorry u didn't get all 12) ;) and had baked spag. last week! kinda funny...huh?

It is definitely your shrinking brain...it's been proven you know!
I would gladly walk around behind you...it's about all I'm good for right now. :0)

The Portas said...

Oh Krista, I'm laughing my head off right now! How funny (to us). Hopefully the Pregnancy Brain is on its way out so Kroger doesn't ban you from the premesis! At least know that you are entertaining all of us with your stories... :)

I hope you're having a non-PB day! oxoxo

Melissa said...

You are too funny. I can totally relate as I did many similar things during my pregnancies. Hang in there, and my suggestion: Send Andy to Kroger!!

Anonymous said...

I suggest an extra car key in your wallet. The voice of experience from Mom. Love Ya.

Kathy said...

oh...
we'll have to get your groceries delivered...and get you one of those remotes to attach to your keys so that you can find them.

I was the SAME way when I was pregnant. I left my purse so many places...the babies are sucking the brain cells from us!

I hope you have a "non-eventful" week...
but, if you don't...
I hope you share!!!

The Saunders Family said...

oh my, that is some pregnancy brain! Hey, I did the same thing with a hot pad once, only i caught it pretty soon! Hope your luck gets better soon!

Andrea said...

Oh my gosh Krista! You are cracking me up! Maybe you better stay home until the baby arrives!

Vanessa said...

Sorry but this made me laugh. You poor thing.

Laura said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Laura said...

Maybe you should try Scotts instead of Kroger!

Anonymous said...

Welcome to my brain wave world!
Cathy